Dear Friends,
I always wanted to paint like Matisse. From the landscapes to the interiors to the cutouts, he expressed such joy, I thought. He must be such a happy man, I thought.
I was wrong.
Turns out, Henri Matisse suffered all through his life from panic attacks and insomnia. According to Peter Schjeldahl in the New Yorker, “He was a self-abnegating Northerner who lived only to work, and did so in chronic anguish, recurrent panic, and amid periodic breakdowns.”
Do artists have to suffer? There must be a way to find joy in the process itself. To get into a zone of sorts, where you can relax and get lost in the work. There must!
But in working with artists and writers for over three decades, and engaging in that holy (or unholy) endeavors myself, I find I don’t have the answer.
Artists don’t have to suffer, but they probably will.
When faced with the blank canvas or the blank page, those feelings of inadequacy will show up without fail. All you can do is self-soothe. Tell yourself you’re probably tired. Tell yourself you’re still a worthwhile human being. Tell yourself tomorrow is another day.
Whatever you do, Keep Writing!