It Gets Better!

As a woman in my twenties, ambition made itself known. I did have exciting plans for myself, but at the same time, I wanted to find a mate. And if I found a mate, would I want to start a family? And if I had a family, how would I balance child-rearing with a dynamic, exciting career that posed significant demands and pressures?

As a woman in my thirties, I had found a mate, but decided I wanted a different mate, so I started over with a new mate. We decided we wanted a family, and when that goal proved elusive, we adopted two babies. How to balance it all? I decided to put all my energy into my family and stepped away from the hard-driven career goals that had defined my life before. Besides, I was never really that ambitious in the first place.

As a woman in my forties, money didn’t seem to be quite so easily had, so I used all my skills to bring a little bit more to the family. I gave workshops and I taught college and I started a company, all while supervising two tweens and a writer husband. Somehow, I balanced it all, doing everything in a big desperate rush. Nobody got my full attention, ever, but I did the best I could. Besides, I told myself nothing had to be perfect. I was never really that ambitious in the first place.

As a woman in my fifties, I focused on launching my two adult children into the world. I focused on taking care of aging parents. I focused on spending more time with my husband. I looked forward to a leisurely retirement, getting back to knitting, and painting, and cooking. That would be enough. I was never really that ambitious in the first place.

But as woman in my sixties, I do not focus on knitting or painting or cooking. What do you know? Knitting and painting and cooking are not nearly enough. It seems ambition makes a comeback. At long last, nothing stands in the way of engaging with the world as a competent contributor with half a century of life experience and decades of professional experience. I write every single day. I coach and engage with my writer clients every single day. I spend every single day thinking and developing ideas for myself and my writer clients.

So if you’re one of those women struggling to balance childcare and husband-rearing and career goals all at the same time, take heart. Just do the best you can. There will come a day when you can focus on one thing at a time. It gets better!

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